X-Factor: ‘X’ marks the spot

Simon Cowell huffed and puffed while leaving American Idol, and has spit out a fur ball by springing the infinitely inane X-factor on the American public. Touted as the out-of-the world entertainment experience, it’s turned into a damp squib. Nothing more than The Voice’s poor cousin, with one leg in the breadline and the other in a house under the water.

Fittingly, its opening montage shows a meteor crashing in Earth, and not a shooting star rising in the sky.

“You are no longer the American Idol? Eye-Doll, Doh. Get it?”

Judging the Panel:

Just how do they go about picking these judges? Artistic talent. Body of Work. Star power. They should rename this to: “Are you better than a C-Grader (Celebrity)?”
Nicole was herself a contestant just a few years back. Her claim to fame is hitched more to Lewis Hamilton and the Mirrorball and less to her Pussycats!!! Even American Idol has more credible judges (read that with a heavy dosage of sarcasm).

The two ladies have the emotional quotient of a teaspoon. Crying at a drop of a beat in a sad choreographed attempt to wring out every emotion and feeling from the spectators. I haven’t seen more emotional outpouring since the last Miss Universe pageant.

They must have used some amazing CG to hide the puppet strings sticking out from Paula and Nicole, pulled by Simon. And when the strings break, Simon is worse than a 2 year old sulk over his spilled ice cream. Just wait for him to hold his breath and turn blue in the next Season.

Historically, students of the language and immigrants have learned the colloquial usage of American English by picking it up from their favourite TV shows. Frankly “rubbish”, “stupid”, “idiotic” is not helping anyone’s vocabulary or exciting people at OED.


The X-factor in the show appears just to be the juvenile bickering between the judges – which is not even X-rated. Get in Gordon Ramsay next time.

Mentor or De-mentor

I would like to be a fly-on-the-wall in the so-called mentoring session. Might get to hear more unfiltered genuine music, without the overlaying suffocating production music and glitzy add-ons.
Well, what do they mentor about? Vocal lessons, pitch quality, singing styles, music production? Probably, how not to make a fool of oneself. That, they have a lot of experience in. Simon thankfully seems more focused on doing a make-over for the 12 to 14 year old girls than their musicality.

Imagine clones of the X-Factor judges. The mind boggles!!!

Beyond Compere

Steve Jones. Another one in the Simon Cowell mold (I though God had broken it in disgust).
Rude, obnoxious and dumber than Brooke of DWTS, with roaming hands to boot. Actually shares the insufferable habit of asking a question without bothering to wait for the answer.
Brian Dunkleman, come back. All is forgiven.

“+” Factor

Even though the First Season has just ended, we can see it written in our fates that we will see this ugly mess again next year as Fox has no mercy.
However, there is no point in giving criticism without some positive ideas and suggestions (otherwise how am I any different from the judges of such reality shows):

Why do the contestants always sing covers? Just one or two out of 15 contestants sing their originals, and the judges treat it as the Second Coming. If one is seeking a recording star, then he or she should demonstrate his or her body of work. Record producers don’t sign on artists by listening to covers. Do they? The public doesn’t buy an album of covers (unless it is Weird Al Yankovich). One round (when, say, 5 contestants are left) should be reserved for original songs. Their own lyrics and their own music compositions. Let’s check out the real deal.

What’s with voting only after the show finishes? The American public has the attention span of a housefly. How can you expect them to remember a performance and the 10-digit phone number half an hour later? Since more Americans consider voting for these shows more important than voting for the President, a way must be found to allow voting during the show. It’s a matter of national security.

Harness the social media (not throttle it). Voting modes are still stuck on phone lines, SMS and internet sites. X-Factor is using Twitter, but more to foist new hashtags on us every week. Use the Apple empire. Viewers buy the X-Factor App, and vote for their contestants by clicking on their icons and paying $0.49 per vote (creating an additional revenue stream for the production company). Count votes through Facebook, Twitter, Google+, MySpace…any way which you can.

In its present form, the only “X” in the X-Factor is the cross against the show in the TV schedule.


About rp71

A Cynic's Eye View: This is my tongue-in-cheek, one-eyebrow-raised, cynical view of the world of politics & the world of sports (and intriguing intersection of the two) by way of written posts and cartoons. All views expressed are my own (nobody else wants them). Follow me by subscribing here or on twitter @rp_71 Looking forward to the bouquets and brickbats in the comments section Cynics of the world, unite. We have nothing to lose, but our disdains…
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4 Responses to X-Factor: ‘X’ marks the spot

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