Anything to Declare?


When the Indian cricket team came back from their disastrous England tour, they needed to pass through the Red Channel in Indian Customs as each one of them was carrying some baggage with them. Here’s what was discovered in their luggage:

BCCI Official: the customs officers opened the travel case and gingerly lifted out a shimmering suit of exquisite fibres. The tag attached to the suit proclaimed it “The Emperor’s New Clothes”.

Dhoni: should have had more troubles with the British Customs – as he left the island shores with less than he came in with. He left behind the ICC Test No.1 Mace and the Pataudi Trophy. He had to further explain about the missing Spirit of Cricket trophy (as listed in the Indian cargo manifesto)

Sketch (c) Charles Crombie

Dravid: Found a sugar-coated letter from BCCI President begging Dravid never to retire from Test match cricket, till the next crop of batsmen are ready to take over (a terse comment from Dravid scrawled in the margins “Mr. President, please tear down this Wall”)

Raina: Since he transforms as soon as he puts on the blues of the Indian ODI team, he will henceforth be wearing his blue ODI kit sewn under his Test whites. His bag also carried a collapsible telephone booth – to allow him to change his uniform ala Clark Kent / Superman.

VVS Laxman – was carrying a special helmet (with an attached ear piece and eyeshades). This innovative contraption provides him with the illusion that his opponent is Australian – with visual changes and modification in accents. After his failures in England, he has sworn to wear the special helmet on all occasions.

Sachin: His oldest bat within his kit has notches for each of his International centuries. After the 99th notch, there was an exclamation mark (for his 91 at the Oval) followed by a big question mark.

Zaheer Khan: Interestingly, a bag containing one half eaten jellybean among a whole bag of uneaten jellybeans was hidden in the corner of his suitcase.

Praveen Kumar: There were whole clumps dug out of the pitches –to transplant into the benign pitches in Karnataka. Since he was one of the only stars of the tour – upholding the legacy of Roger Binny and Madan Lal – he was royally waved through customs.

Sreesanth: finally renouncing the world of cricket after so many setbacks, Sreesanth plans to become the break-dancing swami. Might get a break into politics. His bag was filled with the tapes of the latest dance numbers and trendiest dresses.

Sehwag – only half a bag filled as he was travelling on a half-ticket.

Gambhir – carrying back nothing but a sore elbow, a concussed head and a destroyed reputation.

However, truth be told, the Indian cricket team and BCCI didn’t have much to declare. The English team did most of the declarations.

Advertisements

About rp71

A Cynic's Eye View: This is my tongue-in-cheek, one-eyebrow-raised, cynical view of the world of politics & the world of sports (and intriguing intersection of the two) by way of written posts and cartoons. All views expressed are my own (nobody else wants them). Follow me by subscribing here or on twitter @rp_71 Looking forward to the bouquets and brickbats in the comments section Cynics of the world, unite. We have nothing to lose, but our disdains…
This entry was posted in Humor, Sports and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Anything to Declare?

  1. pataudi was the 1st captain to lead India to an overseas test win. the legend of the tiger will always be in our memories.’ek tha tiger’

  2. Greetings from California! I’m bored at work so I decided to check out your website on my iphone during lunch break. I love the info you provide here and can’t wait to take a look when I get home. I’m surprised at how fast your blog loaded on my cell phone .. I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyhow, very good blog!

  3. Hey there, I think your blog might be having browser compatibility issues. When I look at your blog site in Ie, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping. I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that, excellent blog!

  4. With havin so much written content do you ever run into any problems of plagorism or copyright violation? My site has a lot of exclusive content I’ve either created myself or outsourced but it looks like a lot of it is popping it up all over the web without my permission. Do you know any techniques to help protect against content from being stolen? I’d truly appreciate it.

  5. bbq says:

    I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own weblog and was curious what all is required to get setup? I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny? I’m not very internet savvy so I’m not 100% positive. Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated. Cheers

  6. obviously says:

    Hello, Neat post. There’s an problem together along with your site in internet explorer, may possibly check this? IE nonetheless is the marketplace leader and a huge component to folks will omit your great writing because of this problem.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s