Tears for Fears

No wonder Boehner is crying buckets of tears as his vision of mounting a credible attack on the Obama Presidency is falling apart. With the American public forgiving GOP for its days of excess and the Bush ‘lost decade’, the Republicans had a chance at trouncing Obama as they did in the 2010 mid-terms, beating him up on the economy and the Medicare death-panels.

But Boehner finds himself with plenty of reasons to cry over the sorry state of the line-up of aspirants for the GOP nomination:

  • Mitt Romney: still running around trying to avoid being served a paternity suit on ‘Obamacare’. Man up like the Governator and own up to your illegitimate child.
  • Sarah Palin: please let her run, pretty please. The presidential race wouldn’t be as fun without her as – well – the 2008 race. Probably now she can see the ‘real’ America better than she can see Russia from her front porch.
  • Jeb Bush: People have short memories – but not THAT short. The “statute of limitations” still applies on the errors of his brother’s crimes.
  • Michelle Bachmann: More storm in the tea-(cup) party. Great to get fence-sitters off their independent position – right into the Democrats side
  • Ron Paul & Ryan Paul: the Pauls could be “Tweedledee” and “Tweedledum” on a ticket together. As Lewis Carroll wrote, things will just get ‘curiouser and curiouser’:

Tweedledum and Tweedledee, Agreed to have a battle;

For Tweedledum said Tweedledee, Had spoiled his nice new rattle.

Just then flew down a monstrous crow, As black as a tar-barrel;

Which frightened both the heroes so, They quite forgot their quarrel

  • Newt Ging-“grinch”: he who stole the Christmas in 1995 is back for seconds
  • John Huntsmann Jr: Playing “Are you with us or against us?” like young co-eds play “he loves me, he loves me not”

Probably Boehner is sadder for what could have been:

  • Huckebee: Chuck Norris didn’t want to be his running mate as he wanted to do something more sensible and useful, like beat up Kung Fu Panda (for muscling into his territory)
  • Donald Trump: You could hear all the hearts breaking across the land when the Donald announced he is not running – that was all the stand-up comedians shutting shop and filing for bankruptcy.
  • Mitch Daniels: In Daniels’ own words “In my family constitution, the women’s caucus have veto power with no override provision”. Forget Mitch; let’s send his wife to the White House.
  • Barbour: Just couldn’t get off the gravy train. Let’s see if the lyrics of this song match.

The “Weeper of the House” is now turning red-faced trying to put his ducks in a line, but they had rather play “chicken”.


About rp71

A Cynic's Eye View: This is my tongue-in-cheek, one-eyebrow-raised, cynical view of the world of politics & the world of sports (and intriguing intersection of the two) by way of written posts and cartoons. All views expressed are my own (nobody else wants them). Follow me by subscribing here or on twitter @rp_71 Looking forward to the bouquets and brickbats in the comments section Cynics of the world, unite. We have nothing to lose, but our disdains…
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