No wonder Boehner is crying buckets of tears as his vision of mounting a credible attack on the Obama Presidency is falling apart. With the American public forgiving GOP for its days of excess and the Bush ‘lost decade’, the Republicans had a chance at trouncing Obama as they did in the 2010 mid-terms, beating him up on the economy and the Medicare death-panels.
But Boehner finds himself with plenty of reasons to cry over the sorry state of the line-up of aspirants for the GOP nomination:
- Mitt Romney: still running around trying to avoid being served a paternity suit on ‘Obamacare’. Man up like the Governator and own up to your illegitimate child.
- Sarah Palin: please let her run, pretty please. The presidential race wouldn’t be as fun without her as – well – the 2008 race. Probably now she can see the ‘real’ America better than she can see Russia from her front porch.
- Jeb Bush: People have short memories – but not THAT short. The “statute of limitations” still applies on the errors of his brother’s crimes.
- Michelle Bachmann: More storm in the tea-(cup) party. Great to get fence-sitters off their independent position – right into the Democrats side
- Ron Paul & Ryan Paul: the Pauls could be “Tweedledee” and “Tweedledum” on a ticket together. As Lewis Carroll wrote, things will just get ‘curiouser and curiouser’:
Tweedledum and Tweedledee, Agreed to have a battle;
For Tweedledum said Tweedledee, Had spoiled his nice new rattle.
Just then flew down a monstrous crow, As black as a tar-barrel;
Which frightened both the heroes so, They quite forgot their quarrel
- Newt Ging-“grinch”: he who stole the Christmas in 1995 is back for seconds
- John Huntsmann Jr: Playing “Are you with us or against us?” like young co-eds play “he loves me, he loves me not”
Probably Boehner is sadder for what could have been:
- Huckebee: Chuck Norris didn’t want to be his running mate as he wanted to do something more sensible and useful, like beat up Kung Fu Panda (for muscling into his territory)
- Donald Trump: You could hear all the hearts breaking across the land when the Donald announced he is not running – that was all the stand-up comedians shutting shop and filing for bankruptcy.
- Mitch Daniels: In Daniels’ own words “In my family constitution, the women’s caucus have veto power with no override provision”. Forget Mitch; let’s send his wife to the White House.
- Barbour: Just couldn’t get off the gravy train. Let’s see if the lyrics of this song match.
The “Weeper of the House” is now turning red-faced trying to put his ducks in a line, but they had rather play “chicken”.