Whose Line is it Anyway?

As details of the bag-and-DOA-tag-Osama operation are trickling out for public consumption and media regurgitation, 5 questions have been down on their knees begging to be asked:

Was the Pakistan Air Force asleep for 2 hours like the JFK ATC? Or setting a record for ‘masterly inactivity*’?

Did the US helicopters used a new radar-busting technology which has not been in the market yet (evidently the cat hasn’t taught the lion all the tricks)? Or, to put it cynically, is this US’s marketing ploy to sell Pakistan a new Advance Warning and Control Systems (AWACS)?

Anyway, the US has now exposed the weak link in Pakistan’s defence for others to exploit (like Vibheeshan exposed Ravana’s “Achilles heel” to Rama). 

Was the US willing to chance a “blue-on-blue” attack by Pakistan on their Seals? Since when did USA realise that Pakistan was not “with US but against US in the in the fight against terror”?

In the immortal words of Dirty Harry: “You’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?” Are the terrorists safe in Pakistan anymore?

What is a more benign and wrapped-in-wool environment for the Al Qaeda top brass and their underlings & offshoots? India – really! The way Afsal Guru, Mohd. Kasab or even famous TADA busters have been molly-coddled; the jails of India might be safer in comparison to high-security mansions in Islamabad’s tony suburbs.

If things turn ugly, they can always engineer a Kandahar II and be baby-sat by India’s foreign minister.

 Why is Osama sleeping with the fish? Was it a mafia-style hit?

Did the goodfellas bump off Osama and throw him overboard with cement blocks around his feet? A bullet to the head and one to the heart seems more like a mafiaso signature calling card for breaking the Omerta. Was this a mano a mano for the Capo dei capi? Did the hit men ran out of horses to put inside Osama’s bed?

Seriously, what’s with the sea burial?

Stop already with the water pollution: first the Japanese nuclear cooling water and now this. Where is Greenpeace when you need them!

Could the US Army not find 6 feet of Real Estate anywhere in the world? Was Area 51 full up? Why not stuff him somewhere secret along with the Roswell alien and Indiana Jones’ Arc of the Covenant? Bundle him into a UFO and bid “ET** go home” [**enfant terrible].

Where was Osama’s kidney dialysis equipment?

We have heard about the data drives, his video transmission equipment and his 3 wives, but nothing about the medical equipment for his debilitating kidney ailments. Did it vanish into thin air like Saddam’s WMD? Was he cured of it in the last 6 years? Was he on a Rest & Recuperation? Does Abbottabad have magical healing springs?

It’s been a field day for the conspiracy theorists, probably egged on by the following:

All this was inspired by the principle-that in the big lie there is always a certain force of credibility; …thus in the primitive simplicity of their minds they more readily fall victims to the big lie than the small lie…It would never come into their heads to fabricate colossal untruths, and they would not believe that others could have the impudence to distort the truth so infamously.”  Guess who? Adolf Hitler, Mien Kampf 1925.

Obama seems to have replaced a smaller conspiracy with a bigger conspiracy in the public psyche – have you heard of that birther drivel lately?


*Another nugget from that treasure trove of cynicism: “Yes, Prime Minister: The Grand Design

Jim Hacker: You will agree that so far my premiership has been a great success.
Sir Humphrey: Oh, indeed.
Jim Hacker: Yes, and I have been asking myself: “What can I do to continue this run of success?”
Sir Humphrey: Have you considered masterly inactivity?
Jim Hacker: No, Humphrey. A Prime Minister must be firm.
Sir Humphrey: Indeed. How about ‘firm’ masterly inactivity?

About rp71

A Cynic's Eye View: This is my tongue-in-cheek, one-eyebrow-raised, cynical view of the world of politics & the world of sports (and intriguing intersection of the two) by way of written posts and cartoons. All views expressed are my own (nobody else wants them). Follow me by subscribing here or on twitter @rp_71 Looking forward to the bouquets and brickbats in the comments section Cynics of the world, unite. We have nothing to lose, but our disdains…
This entry was posted in Geopolitics, Humor, Politics - India, Politics - US and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Whose Line is it Anyway?

  1. Brilliant! Loved it!

  2. Thank you for a great post.

  3. Wow, incredible blog layout! How long have you been blogging for?

    you made blogging look easy. The overall look of your web site is great, as well as the content!

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